Tuesday, October 7, 2008

If life gives you lemons

If life gives you lemons and you try to make lemonade, you will find that you have a very small amount of highly acidic sour liquid in a cup, that gives absolutely no refreshment or particular satisfaction. 

There I assumed that you have a cup, if life really gives you only lemons you will have to knaw through the lemon's tough outer skin and bitter pith with your teeth , and then somehow squeeze the sticky innards into your palm, which you would then have to lick.

That is not what I call lemonade.
Thus if life gives you sugar, water, lemons, a knife, a cup and maybe a jug then maybe, you can make lemonade. You need more than just lemons to make it in the world of lemonade. If you want to sell the your soda you need even more stuff - and who can even afford to buy lemonade now that the world is collapsing. I ask you?

I have come to the conclusion that this particular saying is incredibly anti socialist.
It should be replaced by ' If life gives you lemons, open them up somehow and squeeze their juice into the eyes of the opressor'. Whilst the juice blinds him (yup, in this metaphor 'the opressor'  is a rich white man, physically a hideous amalgamation of Boris Johnson and Quentin Tarrantino) we can start building a new society based on co-operation, equality and genuine freedom for all.

In this place there will be a lot of lemonade, and it will all be fresh, sweet and free.

This is what the lemonade stands will look like. We will try to keep pips to an absolute minimum.